im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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