I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
