oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm bleeding and have questions
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
