that's an acceptable place to lick
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
