You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
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