Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
