TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
