he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
