Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
