He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize