Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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