sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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