And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Terrible idea I love it
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
