I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
