I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
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