Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
