Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
