his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
