you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
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