He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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