People in love make me want to vomit
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
