are you still at the devil's house?
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
