Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
