i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
