dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
