I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
