Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
