Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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