i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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