Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
