A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
