how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
