Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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