what day is it and did you see me today?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
