D3 body, D1 cock
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
She even gives head with a lisp.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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