Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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