I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
