dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
