chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
