Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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