His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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