i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
