U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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