I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
wow bdsm is so cute
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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