Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
