dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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