White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
