There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
