If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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