I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
