If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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