I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
