so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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