She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
