Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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