If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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