hotel room ftw
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
