we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
