Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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