You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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