plz talk dirty to me
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
