so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
