I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
