Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
